AKA: How We Got To Whereever We’re Going
This is a fairly comprehensive timeline – mostly because it’s been bugging me (Tui) for a while to remember when we did what. Although I usually have a fantastic memory for significant (and not so significant) dates, I am already struggling to remember some of the timeframes for this process so I thought I’d best write it down before I forget any more! 🙂
16 April 2001 – two girls meet online
- 1 July 2001 – Officially our original anniversary, also known as the day when Tui finally decided to stop being an idiot and asked Keeshay out. Finally. 😉
The next part of the timeline isn’t so easy to figure out; both of us knew right from the start that we wanted to have a family together. Although there was no way we were ready for the first few years we were together, there were many many many conversations and dreams about *someday*.
- Sometime in 2005 – after hours and hours of thinking, talking and debating; we decide that we will ask a close friend of ours to be our donor. Actually there wasn’t too much debate, he really was the first and only person to make sense. At this point we knew we wouldn’t be ttc for at least 12-18 months but knew that if he said no, we would need time to come up with a backup plan.
- Throughout 2006 – our friend thought. And we waited. Occasionally we’d talk to him about it but it didn’t seem like he was getting any closer to making a decision and we didn’t want him to bolt if we put too much pressure on. We also discussed other options, but really we never came up with one. We honestly could not think of another person that we would both want (and be comfortable with) as a known donor. And although we wanted our known donor to be known but not responsible for the raising of any children, we couldn’t bring ourselves to put our names on the waiting list for a anonymous donor.
- February 2007 – we finally get a yes from our friend (hereafter known as BabyDaddy or BD) and it’s full steam ahead.
- March 2007 – we make an initial appointment with the only local fertility clinic to meet with the Dr there.
- April 2007 – First appointment with the Dr at the clinic. He talked with us a bit about what we want, and recommended a plan of starting with 2-4 IUIs, and if we were unsuccessful then we could opt to begin using fertility drugs.
K has her first TTC related blood tests – standard general health and std screens.
- May 2007 – We met for the first time with the clinic counsellor for the first of our two mandatory appointments.
BD has his counselling appointment, blood tests and makes his ‘donations’.
- August 2007 – After a month long trip around the world, we settle back into life and everything TTC related begins to speed up.
- September 2007 – HSG scan with no problems
- October 2007 – 2nd mandatory counselling appointment and our original planned start date, but as BD was still being quarantined we decided to hold off til November. However, as the dates didn’t work our quite right for November and the clinic doesn’t open for inseminations in December, it turned out that we couldn’t start until…
The Fun Part:
The Considerably More Expensive and Really Not Fun Part:
November 2009 we wrote a big ol’ letter of complaint about all the things, large and small, that they have done wrong by us over the past couple of years. We received a great response from the clinic director which resulted in them changing some of their admin processes.