To Farewell or Not Farewell

From time to time in the past year (or longer) I’ve thought of this blog, in its dusty little corner of cyberspace. There’s been times when I’ve wished for the time and/or patience to blog, and times when I’ve wondered if it’s simply time to pack it all away. For years this was an unparalleled outlet; a source of comfort, advice, friends, and even now it’s an archive of details for us to look back on. When I started this blog, back in 2007, we had little support in the real world. Facebook, for us, was in its infancy, and the whole baby making concept was a difficult discussion with my family at least. Things have come such a long way. Through this blog and this wonderful slice of the internet, we’ve “met” some amazing people from all around the world – heck we’ve even actually met two of them! Back then I couldn’t find any fellow kiwis, but now there’s a couple on my reader and if I look hard enough I can spot a whole lot more. What this blog has done for us is indescribable, and, to the majority of the people we know inconceivable. But it was our sanctuary through so much.

Life is very different now. Family relationships are, as always, constantly changing, but since the birth of our boy we have had immense support. It’s not all pretty, but we have learned who is truly there for us both in family and our friends. We have forged some strong relationships that are priceless in themselves, and we have learnt (well are learning) what is important and what should be left to the breeze. Life with our 3 and 3/4 year old is incredible, loving, funny, busy, tough, relentless and pretty much any other adjective that you can come up with.

Three months ago I had decided to say a proper farewell to this blog. I don’t even know who is around to still read it, the stats tell me people still stop by and I know at least of at least a couple of readers out there, but I know that like me, most people who were ttc a few years back have either moved on and/or are busy with their new realities. And that’s okay – I still read a handful of blogs on my reader, but I rarely comment myself anymore. Facebook is now much more my speed, and I am happy to have a community there to continue following each other’s stories. I’m not even sure now that I am saying goodbye, it’s a new year after all and who knows what will happen. Right now for example, I’ve been bitten by the writing bug again, I’m just not sure that this is the right outlet for it.

For now though, here’s some things that I’ve missed sharing this year:

  • Sprocket has completed a whole year of kindergarten. It has been amazing, his teachers are incredible, he loves it, we love it…there is just a whole lot of love going around. He also started at a preschool in October and his kindy teachers even pick him up from there in their lunch break to help us out. Did I mention we love them?
  • Sprocket is continuing to grow and thrive, he’s pretty much all kid now – no baby left. He loves music and he loves to sing, and has inherited his Mummy’s gift of making up songs on the run much to our amusement. He is smart (sometimes too smart), logical and thoughtful and I thank everything for google on my phone some days – he can smell a made up answer a mile away. He is incredibly active, and we know we have to give him plenty of outlets to keep us all sane. He continues his love affair of all things wheels, cars and trains continue to be his favourites, although he is starting to get into the big boy world of superheroes (spidey and superman are number one at the moment). He can eat cereal like nobody else – he has been known to throw back 6 weetbix for breakfast and we are already despairing for our grocery bill in a few years time. Like us, he is a water baby, and we have been out enjoying summer the last few days at the beach, the pools, the river, and today with a water fight at home. He can be incredibly frustrating, stubborn, mischievous… in short a fairly typical nearly four year old!
  • Our relationship with BD is great. Sprocket loves talking to Daddy on, and even got to have a sleepover with Daddy and his nearly 5yo cousin at BD’s parent’s house last June when we were visiting. We are so grateful for the relationship we have with him, it is both exactly what we wanted and beyond our expectations. If anything, we would like to physically see more of him but life just gets in the way sometimes.
  • K has been doing an amazing job of being a Masters student this year, getting at least an A- in all of her papers. Now she’s neck deep in her dissertation and racing to get it done before school goes back at the end of the month. There has been a lot of “stuff” happening in the past several months which has meant she hasn’t been able to concentrate on it as much as she would have liked, but I have no doubt that she will still kick ass.
  • Speaking of K, remember that last post of mine? Well my awesome wife has lost about 25 kilos since March last year! That’s 55 pounds for those that deal in them! She has also started running for the first time in her life, and even ran a 6km and 12km race with an awesome friend supporting her all the way. We are close to hitting that golden number given by the doctor, so that waiting list is within reach.She has been such an inspiration to so many people, and I am so proud of her.
  • In addition to working towards the waiting list, we also have started the process for becoming foster parents. It’s something we’ve talked about for a long time, and we were determined to make the most of the time flexibility of this year to complete the required training courses. Now we are awaiting our home visit sometime in the coming weeks before the final sign off.
  • As for me, well somehow I ended up back at work. After being a stay at home Mama for 3.5 years, I still wasn’t looking but then an unmissable opportunity fell in my lap in the form of a 4 month, name your own hours, not-a-real-vacancy position which is pretty much what I was doing prior to Sprocket came along. It was a really hard decision, I wasn’t ready to go back to work but after a 3 year gap on my cv it was too good to pass up. It was a bumpy road for the first few weeks as Sprocket settled into a new preschool, got used to me being gone, K got used to doing the drop off and pick ups, plus the major disruption to her study schedule/capabilities at a pretty crucial time. It has ended up being fantastic for me though, and with less than a month left on my contract I am lucky enough to have everyone (my staff, colleagues, senior management, and my wife) wishing I could stay on but that remains to be seen – comes with the whole not-a-real-vacancy thing.

Overall, this year has been a mixed bag. The last few months in particular have been tough with some pretty horrid lows, but there have been some great highs mixed in there too. Our lifestyle change this year has afforded us the opportunity to make some big changes, and reassess some other things. This next year is yet to play out but I hope that some of the lessons we have learnt will stay with us and help us through whatever is to come.

Who knows whether I’ll be back here to blog again, but if I’m not then I thank you for whatever part you have played in our journey towards our baby, even if it is just as a silent reader. The writing of this blog has been a bigger part of me than I ever expected way back when.


About Tui

30-something kiwi-lesbian-stay at home-Mama, raising our toddler son with my wife, two cats and one dog.
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1 Response to To Farewell or Not Farewell

  1. pepibebe says:

    Your blog (well reading back over your journey once I found it) was one of the ones I really connected with and I’ve enjoyed the occasional updates since and the comments on mine. If you want to add me to your fb community send me an email at joyouscrocodile at g mail dot com as I’m not using my email that’s attached to my blog any more. Nga mihi o te Tau Hou.

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