Yesterday we went for a scan to check baby’s growth and my fluid levels to confirm or deny the panic surrounding the gestational diabetes diagnosis last week – panic denied! I do NOT like that dietician we saw with all her “your baby will die if you don’t have it in hospital” overtones bla bla bla … well guess what lady? Since tracking my blood levels they have consistently been in the normal range, give or take a few readings which had reasons for being outside of this and baby is perfectly on target in terms of growth, (6lb 8 right now) not too big or too small, and my fluid level is normal. End panic. I’m not saying there is no risk or things won’t change (please don’t change) but the amount of relief we felt walking out of that ultrasound knowing things were ok was huge. That lady had us good and scared. For nothing. On the positive side we got a bonus 3D view of sprocket that we didn’t expect or ask for. The ultrasound tech said sprocket was adorable and we are inclined to agree but we may be a bit biased.
So my new life, having started yesterday involves not going to work. It is the most bizarre feeling. I am slowly relinquishing that feeling of needing to control everything at school from home ( I have sent probably 30 emails over the past few days with multitudes of instructions for my poor subservients to follow). It really helped last week that some of my students decided they would be complete a**holes, at which point I was asking myself do I really care so much right now?
Yesterday involved a trip to the supermarket where I READ LABELS. I had time to wander up and down aisles instead of power walking on a mission to get the hell out of there asap because I had a million other things to do. I still have some school work to get done including marking etc and some organisational type stuff to hand over to the poor buggar who’s replacing me but in general now I’m on my own time frame doing what I want, when I want. SHOCKING. Including trying to pay back a little something to my wonderful wife who has been burning the candle at both ends trying to make my life easier.
On Saturday we went to a birth support workshop run by our homebirth midwife which was good, but we were both so exhausted it was hard to stay awake and focussed. Following that we made the 1 hour trip north to my neice’s 5th birthday dinner. We were supposed to stay overnight with my parents, but minor drama ensued (won’t go into details) and we decided to come home again. Cue 1 hour drive home again 8.30pm both incredibly exhausted. Sunday morning I couldn’t sleep as I was still mad about the night before so I got up and went into work at 7.30am to clean up for my replacement and get some work done. I ended up staying there until 3pm. When I got home my lovely wife had checked off a million jobs on the list and the house was looking absolutely fabulous. It’s about then the stress began to roll off, followed by the affirmation at the ultrasound yesterday we are feeling in a much better space.
Both of our mothers are out of hospital. Tui’s mum is still quite miserable and will need some TLC for time to come. It’s hard because she is so far away and we can’t visit right now. We are hoping our sister in law might pay a visit. My mum is doing fine in general just needs ongoing medication for now.
I had an appointment with Mrs CMM for my first round of “getting ready for birth” accupuncture. It’s quite hilarious the disparity in what our key providers advocate for our birth – somewhere along the line we have to decide where we think we best fit. Diabetes lady says induce @ 38 weeks (not listening to her anyway). Midwife prefers labour to happen when it happens but is concerned about risk factors highlighted by our doc from the fertility clinic regarding IVF pregnancies, my BMI etc. She seems to be settling more around careful monitoring and not too much time past the 40 week mark. Mrs CMM thinks inducing at all before 42 weeks is really not good at all, but will do as we ask. She wants me to just carry on until then. We have decided to just go with the flow and take each day as it comes. To be honest I have really been looking to some time off before baby arrives, so I would love to go to my due date but not too much over. I do NOT want medical induction, no way no how. I have been saying if it comes to that, then screw it just take me straight to a c-section. Why put myself and baby through all that stress? Noone I have talked to or read about had a positive experience being medically induced. My sister had a horrendus experience and suffered with post natal depression for years afterwards. No thank you very much.
But it won’t come to that. I will go into labour on time, I will cope, we will have our dream home birth and baby and I will both be healthy. That’s what we deserve, please let that be what we get.
PS – Thinking of little Linus so much right now. Healing vibes and prayers headed your way little guy. We say “Kia Kaha” down our ways (Stay strong).