Well 2010 is done and dusted. I was going to do a year in review picture post but most of my photos for this year are currently locked in a broken laptop. Instead, I’ve got some photos at the end of what we’ve been up to for the last month. We’re probably going to do a password protected post soon too so leave a comment or email me if you want the password.
We have had a fairly good break together the past 11 days, Christmas Day was a very quiet affair for a change with just us, my parents and my brother and his partner for brunch, and then Christmas Dinner at our place with just my parents. It was very odd only having a few people around but it was a nice day and we successfully cooked our very first Christmas Dinner at home (albeit a scaled down version!). The next day we braved the sales along with most of the city and picked up a few bits and pieces but to be honest, that’s probably the last time we venture out on Boxing Day – it was crazy!
During the last week we’ve had a lot of family outings, spending time with my parents while they’ve been here and then on New Year’s Day we had K’s family Christmas which was a great day too. It’s been nice to spend time with my extended family too, it’s funny we live only 10 minutes away from my aunt and uncle and my cousin’s family but we never really see them unless my folks are in town. There’s a big age difference between us so I never really knew them that well growing up, but the last few times we’ve seen them we’ve had a great time so maybe we should make more of an effort. I’ve also been quite self conscious with them since coming out as we know my aunt has some issues with it from a religious perspective, so you can probably imagine how comfortable K felt being in their company as well but luckily this is changing. I have had fairly low expectations of my family in regards to supporting my sexuality, so I wasn’t sure what to expect going to these gatherings – I’m sure we both sort of thought that K’s pregnancy would be a bit of an elephant in the room. But we were pleasantly surprised when the first thing that happened at my cousin’s house was a very emphatic shout from my cousin at her husband that no K could not drink wine as she was pregnant, and then later when her elderly father in law arrived he looked at us both and said ‘right, now one of you are pregnant aren’t you’. Likewise meeting my brother’s ex-boss on Christmas Eve, he knew all about the pregnancy and was asking when it was due etc. It may be a simple thing really but to realise that my family truly are happy and excited, and actually talk about it, is huge for me – for us. My Mum even made my Dad go shopping for a baby blanket and rattle for baby for a Christmas present – that was the last thing we expected, it’s been a long road with Mum and to have her show her excitement in such a way was amazing (and Dad never ever goes shopping by himself so that’s big too!). Mum also came through for us on the sly when my aunt was introducing my brother’s partner, S, and K to some other relatives – she referred to S as his better half and then to K as Tui’s…..and trailed off. My Mum off to the side and not meaning to be heard by anyone just quietly said to her ‘partner is the word that you’re looking for’ – now a couple of years ago she would never had said that in public so again, that was huge for me.
I dunno, I guess as the non-bio parent I’ve been really on edge with not wanting to expect too much but it’s such a relief that my family are really supporting us and Sprocket. We’ve been so very lucky with the support we’ve had outside of family too, so many people in our lives have just been so genuinely happy for us it’s been fantastic. I wasn’t sure what to expect, by the last ivf round plenty of people at work knew that we had been ttc for so long so that helped I guess too but it’s more than that. I feel proud when people ask me how K is doing, and even though some of the ass-vice can get annoying, it’s nice to get too and feels very validating of my role as a partner and then parent.
In between all that we’ve been working hard around the house, nesting I believe it’s called! We’ve got the horrible wallpaper stripped from what will be Sprocket’s room and found a good end of line deal for the new wallpaper. K’s parents are visiting at the end of this week and we will be wallpapering, painting and hopefully soon after that we will have the finished product to show you all. It’s been hard work, especially seeing as we’ve been having horribly hot weather (which makes it really fun to use a wallpaper steamer!), but we are so pleased to be rid of the parrots that lined the walls until now – as well as the dozens of stickers that lined the wardrobe door!
Sadly now though my holiday at least is over, I’m back to work in the morning and it’s really hitting me that this was the last holiday that we’ll have before Sprocket is born. There’s only another few weeks before K is back to school, and from here on out I’m saving my annual leave so I can have a good couple of weeks at home after the birth.
We are now at 26 weeks, only a couple more weeks to go until the third trimester – seriously, where has the time gone? I have to admit to starting to get a little freaked out that in such a short time we will have a tiny little person in our house relying on us for everything – I am really looking forward to it, don’t get me wrong, but I’m all of a sudden very conscious of all the changes to come. It is so exciting to be getting the room ready though, that’s the biggest thing we need to do to prepare and knowing that in another few days that will be done is big relief.
I can’t believe what a change we’ve gone through in just the last 12 months. This time last year we were in such a bad place and we had such a enormous battle to get ourselves back to a sense of normalcy that we didn’t know when or to be perfectly honest even if we would try again. Our nearly 9 month break, and our trip to Hawaii, was the best thing we ever did, we were at such a low point that we had nothing left to keep going through our regular lives with let alone the pain of ttc. I don’t even want to think about how differently things could have, and so very nearly did, go this last time around and how it would have destroyed us. I think part of the reason it’s hard to believe that we’re at 26 weeks is because the devastation, fear, trepidation and tempered hope of the first 6 + weeks of this pregnancy is still so close to mind. One thing I know for sure is that we will never ever forget what it took to get our family, nor will we ever take it for granted. And my heart still hurts for those of you still struggling down this path, I truly hope 2011 is your year.