Information Overload

I’ve mentioned before that time seems to be flying, but we’ve just jumped forward by 9 days again! After getting thoroughly confused by what to take as the due date, the IVF date of 11 April or the scan dates of 20 April, we were convinced by the scan place that the scan date was the one to use. So away we went with that, only to go back to our clinic dr this weekend for an ob consult to be told that it definitely is 11 April. He was a bit concerned that they had told us otherwise, it makes sense to go with IVF date but it’s definitely a bit of a mental shift to think tomorrow is 22 weeks when we thought we’d only just made it to 20!

The appointment was..thought provoking. We’d been trying to set one up for a while, but playing phone tag and the usual admin bs that we deal with there, plus we’ve been busy so it’s taken a while to get there. Honestly we can’t believe that they don’t give you one before graduating you from their care, but that’s another story.. suffice to say that we wish we’d had one way back then and got a lot of this information much sooner.

We knew that there was a chance that this pregnancy could turn into a high risk one, and therefore impact on whether or not a home birth was an option, but we didn’t realise that they would consider it a high risk right from the start. We thought that we’d be monitoring things like gestational diabetes, blood pressure etc when it gets closer to the time but both us and our midwife weren’t really sure about the impact of the fibroids in K’s uterus hence the ob consult as well.

Turns out he is concerned about a number of things, gestational diabetes being a big concern right away. Although the glucose pee stick tests have been fine, based on her weight and the fact K has been having problems already with quite swollen feet several times this week he wants her to start a diabetic diet already just in case

He also said that it being an ivf pregnancy means a few other things need to be watched as well, most importantly that the baby’s size can be smaller and that research has shown that the placenta can break down very quickly and earlier than normal pregnancies so he wouldn’t be happy with K going any longer than 40 weeks (so you can imagine his alarm at thinking we were taking the due date as 9 days later!).

He’s also worried about the effects of the endometriosis and adenomyosis (the endo that was inside the uterine muscle/wall that couldn’t be touched) and whether that will lead to IUGR. On the fibroids front, while they were sitting up the top of the uterus and haven’t been seen on any of the ultrasounds so far, he thinks that the severe pain she was having a couple of weeks ago could be related to this and something call red degeneralia. He said this shouldn’t be too much of a problem but to be prepared that it may crop up again at some point.

Apparently about 65-70% of IVF pregnancies are complication free, in which case if we fell into that group a home birth would be absolutely fine, but there is a 30-35% rate of intervention (including 25% cesar rate). So if we fell into that group and were attempting a home birth, we would have to transfer to the hospital anyway. He is quite supportive of us trying a home birth if everything is looking good toward the latter stages of pregnancy (i.e no GD, pre-eclampsia etc) but quite rightly pointed out that if there was an emergency need to transfer to hospital that this would be more traumatic than planning for a hospital birth in the first place. He knows us well by now and understands K’s aversion to hospitals etc, he took her blood pressure which was fine but the top number was elevated slightly to which he cracked ‘that’ll just be your aversion to white coats, even though I’m not actually wearing one’.

The good part was that when we were talking about pain management he commented that K had a pretty high pain threshold after having such severe endo and after the op etc which made her day as she’s been doubting that lately! He’s a doctor too so knows what he’s talking about lol.

So now we’re pretty damn confused again. We would have considered a shared care situation with him and our midwife but his practice costs $3,500 which we cannot afford. The other option is going through the public system and taking our chances with the hospital if necessary. We need to talk to our midwife, he is writing up a letter and a plan of what sort of monitoring etc he would do/thinks we should do to send to both her and us. We have our next appointment on the 21st which isn’t too far away. I don’t know, it’s hard – she’s primarily a home birth midwife which is why we went with her, we’ve talked about if it does become high risk then she would come to the hospital with us but we thought we wouldn’t be making those kinds of decisions for another 10-14 weeks yet. K really didn’t want to go anywhere the hospital unless absolutely necessary but looks like that may be where we end up. I’m not sure if they do hospital visits like the birthing centres do but if they do I think we’ll do one soon and see how that goes. It also impacts on the ante-natal classes that we do – there’s some homebirth ones coming up in a couple of weekends but if we’re leaning towards a high probability or a hospital birth should we even bother with that?? There’s just so much to think about right now!

The good news is that we are now on the final countdown to our holiday, K has just 4 more days left in the school year and then next weekend we’re off for a weekend away with my family to celebrate my Mum’s 70th birthday. I haven’t blogged about it yet, but I’ve had a lot of issues with my relationships with my family over the years but recently two of my brothers and I have all been making more of an effort and we’re having a much better time together as a result so hopefully it should be a great weekend. Then after that we’re continuing down the country for a few days to stay with some great friends of ours and also see BD. It will be the first time we’ve actually seen BD in person for a couple of years and the last time we’ll see him before Sprocket comes so it’s a good chance to catch up about everything.

Oooh and I nearly forgot but last night we were out at a friends place for dinner/party and K was lying back on a chair after dinner when all of sudden Sprockie started kicking hard out! It was so cool, I put my hand on her belly and could feel the tiniest little points of pressure/movement. Today it’s been kicking heaps too but I haven’t been able to feel anything since. It’s so exciting though, since the butterfly feeling weeks ago K hasn’t really felt anything much but now it’s all go but after all, it is all of sudden 22 weeks now!

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About Tui

30-something kiwi-lesbian-stay at home-Mama, raising our toddler son with my wife, two cats and one dog.
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One Response to Information Overload

  1. Next in Line says:

    These babies are tough to plan for because you just never know how or when they will want to come out. Sounds like you figure out a few good options and then take it from there. I am just so happy that you two are finally pregnant. What a long journey and now it is so exciting waiting for this little one to hatch.

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