The Bloody Red Baron

Tui: I might do a blog tonight
K: I was thinking I might too
Tui: Really?
K: Yeah but I’ve got nothing to say really
Tui: *laughs because it’s true*

First of all, thanks for all of your comments and emails on my last post. I wasn’t sure about posting it but the feedback I had from you all was great, I still have no answers but I definitely feel better about it all for having shared. Whatever ‘it all’ may actually be!

Life over here has been trucking along, K is now officially on holiday, although she still has plenty of work to do, and I have two more days of work to go before getting about 10 days off which will be fantastic! There seems like there has been a lot going on, but I guess it’s just the normal end of year routines.

Tomorrow we are going up to Auckland to spend Christmas with K’s family, they live about an hour from the town I work in so I’ll be driving back down for Christmas Eve but that way K can spend more time with them. Then on Boxing Day we’re coming back home because my family is all going to be in town for a bbq lunch.

It feels strange blogging about nothing, ttc is still such a huge part of us but it is a dormant part right now. The feelings are still there of course, but I think we are getting better at focusing on other things for the moment. It has been 2 months already, which feels like both a long time and a super short time. It’s not that we’re not thinking about it, more like the time in between those thoughts is getting longer. I am still reading along with all of your blogs too, but just finding the time and/or energy to comment is harder to come by most days.

I can’t imagine cutting off entirely from this environment but I think it is just too hard to hold on quite so tightly right now. Even a few months ago I couldn’t contemplate cutting back on blogging, it has been such a huge and important part of our lives for the past two years. It has brought us to, and connected us with, all of you without whom this awful process would have been so much darker and lonelier. But I have a new perspective on that now and I understand why people need to leave. And after all, part of the idea behind the extended break is to give our other lives a chance to thrive. So you might see less of us around here, but we will still be hoping, thinking, wishing and dreaming for you all and honouring the good, the not so good and the downright shocking all the same.

Of course, I can only talk for myself, and there are two of us here – who knows, K might become a regular old chatterbox over summer.

But in the meantime, we hope you all have a beautiful holiday season, no matter what you choose to celebrate.

Here’s to the end of a shitty 2009, and the start of a better 2010 for all of us still waiting for our happy endings – in whatever shape or form we may find it in, it may not be what we expect but just as long as we find it.

I leave you with a quote from our last post of 2008:

So goodbye 2008, it’s been great, we had some laughs and more than a few tears but really I’m glad to see the back of you.

Bring on 2009. I’m not naive enough to say we’ll definitely be pregnant in 2009, but seriously I’m not gonna be impressed if we’re not!

Officially not impressed. But we’re still moving.


About Tui

30-something kiwi-lesbian-stay at home-Mama, raising our toddler son with my wife, two cats and one dog.
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5 Responses to The Bloody Red Baron

  1. strawberry says:

    Here is to a better 2010 for you and so many others. Enjoy your holidays, ladies. Nice to see you again. xo

  2. thebao says:

    Even if you take a break from blogging, I’ll still be thinking of you and wishing you well.
    Hope 2010 is a better year and that y’all have a great holiday.

  3. Next in line says:

    I will miss you girls while you take a break, but it sounds like a good idea. The rest of your lives deserve all your attention and energy and google reader will let me know when you are back on line.
    I wish you all the best and am always here for you. Email anytime.

  4. poppycat says:

    I’ll miss having you around so often but I will be so happy to know that you two had a fantastic and peaceful break. Step away and enjoy your selves! You deserve it.

    Wishing you a wonderful holiday and a new year that sees all your dreams come true.


  5. Gayby Rabies says:

    We’ll all miss you if you take a blog break, but I understand that sometimes it’s just gotta happen. Wishing you the very best 2010.

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