Shining through

You know, it was pretty shocking to see it laid out like that, I’m sure there are a couple of little things that we missed but thanks to the blog, most of it is there. It is scary how the little things add up though!

We haven’t had a response yet, we will get one and although we’re keen to hear what they have to say  the important part was definitely saying it. We were careful in the language we used, trying to find the balance between communicating how bad it was but not coming off bitchy or snarky. The higher ground if you will.

It’s amazing really how much better we feel having posted it. There is still a lot of hurt there obviously but at the same time we feel a lot more free. Like we can breathe easier.

We have pushed our timeline back a little from last time I blogged about it, instead of doing the op in January we have decided to wait until the April school holidays to do it. That way if we decide to, we will be able to do another private IVF round in the July school holidays (timing permitting). We figure we need this time to get as much weight loss happening as possible, which is going well so far by the way.

The best part is it also means that we get to enjoy summer without too much of the stress which is something that we really need to be able to do. As I’ve said before the first term (February-April) is horrendously busy for K and this at least is something we can control. With the original plan to have the operation in January, she wouldn’t get much of a holiday and what benefit she did get would probably be used up in recovering from that. So we now have the referral letter from the GP and an appointment with the clinic dr at his private practice for January. I still can’t think of a name for him…

For now we are coming back around to living our lives mostly ttc-free. I say mostly because of course it’s still there in our hearts. K is only about 5 weeks away from her summer holidays now, trying to get her kids ready for end of year exams and all the extra things that come up at the end of year like prizegivings and camps. I am finally moving into the new job I got in our restructure in July, including moving into my new office a couple of days ago – bliss! I also had a visit from my old boss on Friday, I caught her up on what was happening and surprised myself by only crying a little. This is the boss whose office I only had to walk into before bursting into tears on bfn days. As much as I miss her, I know I would have been a mess at work had she been there through the last couple of months!

This week my mother is coming up to stay with my brother for a few days, she is bringing his son up to stay with him without his mother for the first time. I’ve got a day off to spend with them and I’m excited about that. I haven’t seen her since Christmas and although I always look forward to seeing her, it’s especially so now that I feel like she ‘gets’ the baby stuff for the first time.

We are also making some time in the next few weeks to sit down with a friend of mine from work who has been fostering children for the last year. It’s something we’ve talked about at various times over the past several years, so we thought it was time to talk to someone who has done it. I don’t know if it will or won’t end up being the right thing for us, but we’re all about options right now.

And today is a beautiful sunny day, so we are about to go and take the dog for a massive bike ride to the mountain bike park and enjoy it!

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About Tui

30-something kiwi-lesbian-stay at home-Mama, raising our toddler son with my wife, two cats and one dog.
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4 Responses to Shining through

  1. Me says:

    Very cool! Sounds like things are a little more peaceful in your world.

  2. Olive says:

    I’m glad you feel better having sent the letter – it’s so good to get it out there. I’m excited for your new, time-adjusted plan that allows you to enjoy summer. I hope the sunny days continue!

  3. Gayby Rabies says:

    I’m glad the weight loss project it going well. It must be good to have something to focus on while you’re taking a break from TTC. I hope the time off is restful.

    Did you really say you are taking the dog for a bike ride? Does the dog just run along while you ride, or is the do somehow on your bike?

    • Tui says:

      haha the dog runs alongside the bike – I think she’s part cattle dog so has a lot of energy to burn, riding a bike with her is one of the best ways to do it. K has ridden with her on a lead since she was little but the mountain bike park adjoins an off the leash area so she can run by herself – it’s really great! And because she’s been running with the bike since she was tiny, she’s very safety and command conscious too (pity she’s not like that at home lol)

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