We’re so tired of all this, the constant back and forth, ups and downs. For ourselves, for our friends.. everyone.
We had a really great weekend away. It was a beautiful weekend and we had a lot of fun together. It was so well needed. After the appointment on Saturday morning, we just felt like everything had been taken off our shoulders. We felt like we were on the verge of something. We were excited to begin the weight loss journey – yes together Poppy 🙂 – and even looking forward to having some down time away from ttc for a few months. With a solid plan, not an easy one, but a solid one.
Most importantly, we felt like the clinic really did care about us after all.
Then we got back to reality. This afternoon K got a phone call from one of the staff there saying that they had a meeting about us, and have put us on the waiting list and congratulations we would be having free ivf in April 2011. Ok, so the dr didn’t exactly guarantee that he would be able to jump the waiting list, but he sure gave us the impression is was only a matter of rubber stamping. But no, apparently this is the best they can do – to put us on the waiting list now instead of requiring the low bmi first. Which is all very well but why the fuck get our hopes up first. All the testing etc leads them to believe that K only has another year from now to get pregnant – this date is a full 6 months after that timeframe ends. Yes there may still be a chance then, there’s no guarantee and no specific date where what eggs K has left are going to pack their bags and wave goodbye, but do they seriously believe we will be content to just sit back and relax while that time just passes us by?
I get the waiting list is there for a reason, and I get that there are many deserving people on that list…. but why mention it to us if it wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t something we asked for, we would have been much better off not knowing it was even on the cards. There was no guarantee, but of course we got our hopes up, who wouldn’t? It sucks. We have had enough of having our emotions pulled and twisted whichever way is the flavour of the day.
And to make it so much better, the woman that rang K told her that her BMI must be 2 points lower than what the Dr had said. It is a hard enough ask as it is, but it was like kicking us when we’re down. Then she was rude enough to demand to know if K was trying to lose weight, why is it a problem and was there a medical reason she couldn’t lose weight. And by the way, this is an admin person, not a doctor or nurse. K was in tears on the end of the phone by this point so couldn’t answer any of them – not that it’s any of her damn business, that information is between us and our doctor.
So yeah, we’re stuck back in what-the-hell land. Dunno what we’re going to do, we need to decide because there is no point doing the laproscopy for the endo in January if we’re not doing IVF until 15 months later – shit all the good would have been well and truly undone by then, it will have grown back and be pushing everything out of whack again.
We are armed with the name and contact details of the clinic manager. We are going to write a very long account of every single one of our issues we’ve had there. This is where blogging comes in very useful – I haven’t written about all of the mistakes, but most of them are in here somewhere for reference. We have been hesitant of complaining too much (we’ve done our share already) while we’re still relying on their services as we have no other options where we live. We also didn’t want to ruin our chances of our doctor getting us a quicker ivf date but guess that’s out the window now.
I don’t know if it will help with this issue at all, but we’re going to get it all out.