The Next Step

Yay for our counsellor kicking ass, that’s for sure! We had our appointment with the doc this morning and we are feeling pretty great actually.

He is most concerned with the failure of the transfer, and thinks that the reason for the bad IUIs, and now this, is that there is something (probably endometriosis) which is growing and pushing the wall of the cervix into a kink. This is why it is getting so much harder with the IUIs, and why the transfer dr thought there might be fibroids or something there.

So the plan is K will go back to her GP and a letter of referral to see a specialist based on her history of painful and heavy periods etc. The specialist just so happens to be our clinic dr (we need to think of a nickname for him – after all this time we have none). He will see her as a private patient and give her a letter for her insurance company based only on the pain and other symptoms. If he mentions infertility or fertility treatment at all, insurance won’t cover anything, but doing it this way they should cover the laproscopy surgery (hence we have to see him at his private clinic, not the fertility clinic).  He will also do a cervix dilation at the same time to give even more chance that the next transfer will be smooth.

We will ring his private clinic on Monday and he will try and see her in November, and hopefully schedule the surgery for January/February. He recommends at least one period in between the surgery and the next try so we’re probably looking at March/April at the earliest for our next round.

To back track a little, he was very happy by her response to the stims, and also very happy with the quality of the blastocysts that were transferred on day 5. He thinks that the traumatic transfer may have impacted implantation as there may have chemicals etc released that shouldn’t have been.  So he is very confident that the protocol was right, and that by dealing with the endometriosis and improving chances for implantation we should have a winning combo.

Our main problem is money. We’re planning on buying the winning lotto ticket today anyway, but other than that we’re committed to paying off the existing IVF debt before getting any more. The other problem is that based on the AMH and FSH testing K really only has another year. Those two are a vicious cycle – it will take a year to pay off the debt and we can’t afford to take more debt out in the meantime, but by then it may be too late.

Because we have been at it for so long,  we do have a chance for public funding. Over here there is a points system and we have enough points for two free rounds of ivf, but to get onto the waiting list you need to be a certain BMI. The waiting list itself is about 12-18 months so by the time K lost enough weight (about 30kgs) and the waiting list time was up, it would more than likely be too late.

So the next thing he said floored us – he said that we had been on their books for such a long time and with the low ovarian reserve, that if K could get as close as possible to the goal BMI he will talk to the clinic manager and see if we could bypass the waiting list. It’s not a guarantee but we are so excited!

So the next mission will be doing everything possible over the next several months to lose weight (both of us).  If we can get K’s BMI down and they agree to move straight into the funded ivf, we have another shot at this – two shots actually!

There is a long way to go before we get to that point, and it won’t be easy but there is hope again. It’s crazy how hope and despair are almost interchangeable in all of this!!!

Now we are off on our weekend away, it’s a beautiful day here so let’s hope our destination is just as great! It’s been an incredibly stressful week so some relaxation is just what we need, and after today’s appointment we feel like we might even manage it.


About Tui

30-something kiwi-lesbian-stay at home-Mama, raising our toddler son with my wife, two cats and one dog.
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7 Responses to The Next Step

  1. Olive says:

    I couldn’t agree more about hope and despair being such close emotions through all of this. Sometimes they swap in a matter of minutes. I’m glad you’re working out a plan that feels good to you and that you might get some of the expense covered. I’m glad that you feel hopeful after meeting with the doc and he seems to be so much on your side. I think you two are going to be bringing home your baby next year!

    Enjoy the nice weekend!

  2. Next in Line says:

    I am so relieved that you got in to see your doctor. That sounds like a really solid plan. I am so crossing everything that you get funding for IVF and the laproscopy. Can you go on a surgery cancellation list and try to get in sooner?

  3. S. says:

    wow, sounds like your doc is being an awesome advocate for you – exciting to hear he might be able to bump you up on the waiting list!

    hope ya’ll are having a relaxing weekend away!

  4. thebao says:

    Your doctor sounds fantastic in every way. I am so glad that, in the midst of all of this pain, you at least have a doctor who is on your side and who is willing to work the system for you.
    I hope you’re having a fabulous mini vacation with lots of R&R.

  5. poppycat says:

    I am so thrilled to hear that you have options! That is great and now you also have some goals to start working toward instead of feeling hopeless about the situation. As for loosing the weight, i just want to say this… GET HELP. It is so hard to do it on your own so if you can, get a trainer or enroll in a bootcamp or something. Find someone to help you with your eating plans and for hell’s sake, do it together. Its so hard to try to do it alone you know? I never have any luck unless Cat is on board with me when I goal toward things.

    I am really happy all went so well and that you have a good and caring DR. xoxo

  6. Heidi says:

    I am glad you are getting a weekend away, you two certainly deserve it!!

    I’m also glad that things seem to be falling into place!!!

    all my love

  7. Geek says:

    So glad things have turned around for you. Lets hope everything else goes to plan and the 5 month waiting isn’t too bad. We’re just about to start our 6 month quarantine period with our swimmers.
    Find what works for you weight loss wise. Lawyer has done some amazing stuff with her weight-loss, going to the gym, counting calories, eating mashed cauliflower instead of potato (bleech!) and getting really into Roller Derby. Having a sport she loved made exercising like crazy for 2 hours twice a week sound like a great thing to do. So far she’s lost 28kg!

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