The Day After

Thank you all for your support, it means a lot. Today we are doing a little better, emphasis on the ‘little’ part. We didn’t sleep much last night but we are slowly getting our heads around it all. At 3am this morning, K discovered that there was still a thick layer of ultrasound goo under her belly that hadn’t been wiped off – goes to show how out of it we were yesterday afternoon that she didn’t notice til then!

I can’t get my head around the fact that the embryos were loaded up in the catheter, in the docs hand, speculum in place and still it got aborted. There was no other way though and I would not have wanted them to continue trying yesterday in a million years. As hard as the IUIs had been, and as much as K had been stressing about it I hadn’t even considered that they may not be able to even get there. Pain yes, which is terrible in itself, but failure..no.

K is still sore today, we are both exhausted and yet we still wait for what tomorrow brings. We are hoping like crazy that the embryos are freezable, we don’t want to put K through that again tomorrow – drugs or no drugs.  I think we will do what we have to, but as much as we want this, I think we need time to heal first. And when I say we I mostly mean K, as hard as it is for me to watch I can’t even begin to imagine her pain.

In the meantime, while we were there yesterday I did my level best to work my way through $10,000 worth of tissues. There was a pen lying on the instrument table that I joked about taking before it all started – now I wish we’d looked around a bit more, every little bit counts! 😉

It is a beautiful day here and we are going to try and have some fun this morning regardless.

Tomorrow will bring what it will bring, whether we like it or not.

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About Tui

30-something kiwi-lesbian-stay at home-Mama, raising our toddler son with my wife, two cats and one dog.
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8 Responses to The Day After

  1. strawberry says:

    I am so sorry that happened. I hope so much that tomorrow is a brighter day for you.

  2. queerstork says:

    nothing but hugs for you both today. so sorry.

  3. next in line says:

    You can also take 10 000 dollars of toilet paper if they start to notice the tissue usage. No one will watch you in the bathroom.

    This is the perfect time to have a nice day and let the healing begin for both of you. Xoxoxo

  4. Olive says:

    I’m so sorry for your pain and for K’s pain. I hope the sunshine helped a bit.

  5. Stacey says:

    i am hoping something good comes out of this… i am going to beleive for yo that its fate…. hugs hugs hugs

  6. S. says:

    what an awful twist in the road when you were so close to the end. big love to k – my last ET took over an hour and it was awful beyond words. sending you both hopes for a more successful tomorrow, however it unfolds. ♥

  7. Geek says:

    Hugs and strength to you both.

  8. thebao says:

    Thinking of you both today and hoping for the best possible outcome tomorrow.

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