Filling in time

First of all I’d just like to point out that the teasing and taunting usually only happens after K has asked her almost daily question ‘what are we doing for my birthday?’.

It’s funny, we started celebrating each other’s birthdays in a big way in ’07 when we were starting ttc. Spending a little (a lot?) more money than usual on the basis of ‘well next year we’ll have a baby and be on one income and things will be tough so let’s make this one extra special’.

The third of these birthdays for K is just about to roll around. I’m sure that could be depressing if I dwelled on it! But yes, I have big plans for her birthday and even though plans may change as we may be doing ivf business on the day, it will still be very special. And yes K, this part of the post could easily be taken as more teasing šŸ˜‰ But you brought it up! Hmm.. maybe I should do a password protected post with the details hehe.

It really does feel like the calm before the storm ttc wise. K has been taking bcp for 2 weeks now, the loan is ready to be drawn down and we have an appointment with Nurse Fave on Monday to pick up the drugs, sign the new consent forms etc and get The Plan.

K has been seeing Mrs CMM for acupuncture as she said, and loving it. She is only just going back to full time work after having her baby and is very positive and excited aboutĀ our chancesĀ which is some great energy to be getting!

I think we’ve both being having our moments with this all. There are times when we are so positive and upbeat, just can’t wait to get on with it and 100% certain it’s going to work. Then there are other times when the whole thing just feels hopeless, the pressure of this one round is unbearable and we start to doubt..well everything really. Thankfully we have yet to have the bad feelings at the same time so we’ve been able help each other through it. Heaven help us if it hit us both at once!

I think a lot of the problem is that we’re both just exhausted. It has been a really long 6 months, there’s been a hell of a lot that has happened in that time and we’re both just really run down. K has been having some work dramas and I for oneĀ am getting really frustrated at work because the great new job I got back in July is yet to actually happen. There’s been a lot to work through to get it all up and running which I get, but it’s looking like it may be up to another couple of months before I can actually move into that role and it’s so frustrating!

The good news is that K’s nausea seems to have settled down. We’re still not sure if it was drug reaction or a bug but my mother keeps asking me if she’s pregnant. I’ve told her about the last negative and that we’re doing IVF in October, and she does tend to ask that question jokingly of everyone with inexplicable sickness (male or female), but I’m sure she’s a little more serious in her questions of late! I almost want to say yes just to see what she’d say.

So at the risk of repeating myself in each new post – we are really looking forward to our holiday in a few weeks. We won’t be going anywhere, and it may not be exactly relaxing with all the injecting and retrieval/transfer etc but we will be at homeĀ together. Ā Bliss!

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About Tui

30-something kiwi-lesbian-stay at home-Mama, raising our toddler son with my wife, two cats and one dog.
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3 Responses to Filling in time

  1. Olive says:

    The birthday plans sound exciting! I’m sure you’ve cooked up something fun.

    I can understand why this IVF cycle feels HUGE and why you are so excited but nervous. I can’t imagine not having this mix of emotions. Know that I’m nothing but hopeful and excited, though!

  2. Gayby Rabies says:

    Oooh, I can’t wait to hear what the birthday surprise is! I know what you mean about the flip flopping emotions. One day you feel so sure the IVF will work, the next day it seems impossible. It seems as though there are a lot of bloggers starting IVF now. I predict there will be a huge wave of BFPs in the near future.

  3. Next in Line says:

    Please post what the birthday surprise is! I can’t wait. What a great idea.

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