It has been a stressful past week. My mum was supposed to have her operation to fix her chronic back condition at the end of this week, but she got a phone call last Thursday saying they had a cancellation and could she come in first thing Friday morning. Fearing that it might be the last time I saw my mother, we took the hour drive after work and had dinner with mum and dad. I hate the idea of my mum going under anaesthetic as she is a big lady and we all know the risks that go with that, not only that she has a multitude of health problems and allergies so the whole idea of it never sits right with me. However my mother is miserable. Her back is so bad she can barely stand up any more and I don’t want to see her in pain.
Anyway Friday she goes in for the operation. Dad gets a call saying all went well. A while later he gets a call from the specialist who says they didn’t actually perform the operation because when they rolled her over to operate her heart stopped (Great communication skills hospital) . Apparently she gave them quite a scare and she was out for a while. So they aborted the operation. Mum was really upset about the whole thing and is feeling a bit fragile as you can imagine. She is in the heart ward at present awaiting more tests because they don’t seem to know what happened. The worst thing is they don’t want to do any operations now so mum has no solution for her chronic back pain. I spent the day with her yesterday just hanging out. I know this sounds incredibly selfish but I keep thinking two things – 1) don’t you die before my children are brought into this world, its not fair you have seen my sisters’ children and 2) omg I don’t want to end up like you. Its scary. I’m already a big girl and I’m scared the pregnancies will add even more weight and I won’t be able to get rid of it and I’ll end up just like her.
End of freak out … for now. I have yesterday and today off work thanks to the girl at my soccer game who jumped on my head with her sprigs while I was on the ground attempting to save a goal. I had a really impressive golf ball size lump out the back of my head and a bit of whiplash, but I am heading off to my chinese medicine man for some accupuncture and I’m sure he will fix me! I dragged Tui to him last Monday after another day of migraines – that was Friday, Sunday, Monday in bed suffering. She felt heaps better after seeing him despite her initial reservations about the needles.
We had our “sleeping class” again last night – our meditation / stress release / yoga nidra night class that we are going to for 8 weeks. I think it is doing us both the world of good as we felt really relaxed afterwards.
It’s Tui’s birthday next Tuesday! Its a long weekend in NZ (Queens birthday-yay for the commonwealth!) and we both have managed a day off work so I am planning something nice for us on that day. I would tell you, but if I tell you I tell her … so you have to wait til after. I am expecting AF end of this week. We have decided to do IUI the next three months regardless … its in the stars people! Everything I read tells me between May and August for baby related matters so its all go! I also need to get my AMH test done – hey I think I’ll do that today!! Find out what state my eggs are in and either put our minds at rest or come to terms with where we are at.
Must go now off to the land of chinese needles – also to deliver Tui her lunch at work as we were running late this morning AND to decipher her work mate’s car stereo which is all in japanese! I think I will be next to useless as it has been so long since I studied Japanese but hopefully my little dictionary will help. Its either that or a carefully constructed method of pushing random buttons. Do you think Japanese people look at english instructions and think ” Oh no! Its in English!” … unlikely! Becuase they are far more educated about our language than we are about theirs … you know I bet they laugh as they produce the stereos with Japanese buttons knowing they are destined for use in English speaking countries … its their own little joke at us for thinking our language is superior …. I can see them now … Ha ha! You will never figure this out!!! *cue manic japanese laughter* …. Ok … REALLY time to go now.