That’s right, we’re unfortunately not lucky enough to score a BFP first time round 😦

We did the blood test today and got the official BFN from the nurse a couple of hours ago.

We are maybe more disappointed than we realised we would be, and although we were pretty sure it was negative after we did a home test this morning, there was still that smidgeon of hope hanging around.

Maybe we were a bit naive, but even though we knew the odds weren’t that great for the first try, we were pretty sure that this was our time. I mean, it has to happen for someone right?

Really we do know that it will happen when the time is right, and in a way it is a bit of a relief to find out for sure so that we can move on and look forward to the next try (we did 3 tests in the last couple of days so we sort of knew it was coming as much as we tried to deny it).

But it is still hard, disappointing and frustrating that there’s yet more to be done and it still sucks big time. Even though this is the first time we’ve officially ttc’d, we’ve been having testing, counselling etc for nearly a year so it seems like much longer.

Now we’re waiting for the next cycle to start and we can do this all over again! With hopefully a better result, obviously.

We text BD to tell him it didn’t work, as we’d agreed to tell him as soon as we found out and he sent a sweet text back saying bugger it, fingers crossed for next time and asking if we were alright – much love for him and his support.

Also, how much would it suck to have to be the nurse/person that phones everyone to tell them that their test was negative? Sure, it would be a nice job giving out the good news, but that must be pretty hard when you know that the people using the clinic want it so badly and have had a long road already.


About Tui

30-something kiwi-lesbian-stay at home-Mama, raising our toddler son with my wife, two cats and one dog.
This entry was posted in BFN, In the Mixing Bowl, next time. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to BFN

  1. JoulyBean says:

    Aww, I’m so sorry to hear that it didn’t work! Sounds like you have a really sweet BD though.

  2. mrsbluemont says:

    i’m so sorry love. even on the first try, it’s awful.

    you are so sweet to think of your BD and the nurse! such a compassionate spirit is sure to make you an incredible mom.

    it WILL happen. here’s to it happening soon! ox

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